Choosing the way
I've been through a special phase during the past three-four weeks. Now, I found out that I really shouldn't change the way I feel the world for staying with a partner. My girlfriend doesn't know about myself being a cross-dresser. And because I know her opinions and ideas and the way she looks at things, I don't believe she would accept it.
I've been through an inner debate about changing myself to stay with her - which turns out to be relatively impossible - or leaving her. There is certainly a third way and that is staying with her for now and hiding it until the time we are physically and mentally close enough to open a discussion about the matter.
Matter of fact, we've been together for almost four years. She wasn't very truthful and started another relationship with a guy. He is that kind of guy who doesn't like her GF to be friendly with other men. By the way he walked into our relationship and though I like to find someone in this trio - me, my gf, and him - to put all the blame on, but I couldn't and I can't.
She is the kind of girl who is very sensitive type and very distorted about what she likes and what she dislikes in life; no method or ideology for life. So she usually turns out to make mistakes. I've accepted that by the way.She likes to live with someone supportive which doesn't force her into marriage. He isn't that type of guy. After all I think I gotta be close to her more, because I've been studying in another city all through this relationship. Though I don't like to get in a competition with him to have my hands on her (oof! The idea of a love-competition trio is really teasing.), but I got to choose the third way I've discussed earlier in this post; live and let live.
Time would do all that's needed. My emotional and psychological situation is much better now in comparison to past 6 months or year. By now, I rarely feel ashamed about my transvestism and I really thinks that's the way I am; in my mid twenties, like myself being a man and sometimes enjoying the crossdressing.
